5 Steps to break the cycle of overwhelm

In today’s fast-paced world, overwhelm seems to be an ever-present companion. Whether it’s juggling multiple responsibilities at work, managing personal and family commitments, or dealing with unexpected challenges, feeling overwhelmed can take a toll on our well-being and productivity. For many people, that feeling of overwhelm is almost a constant, with never enough hours in the day to get everything that needs done, done..

As a coach, I frequently encounter clients grappling with this issue, seeking effective strategies to feel more in control, and happier and more productive, both in their work and home lives.

So, if you are feeling overwhelmed, know that you are not alone. And that there are practical actions you can take to help alleviate overwhelm and restore a better balance, not only as a quick fix in the here and now, but even more importantly to make long lasting changes and prevent it happening again.

In this article, I share 5 steps, all based on evidence from psychology and neuroscience research, to support you to break the cycle of overwhelm.

Step 1. Plan and Prioritise

When faced with a mountain of tasks, it’s crucial to take time out to plan, prioritise and work out what you can let go of, and what you can delegate and to whom. I know when I am talking to clients that taking time to do this can seem like it is only adding to the to-do list and creating more pressures. But the difference of even carving out 1 hour a week to plan and review will be worth the effort, I promise. Even better if you can manage 1 hour at the beginning of the week, and 1 hour at the end.

Don’t just focus on all the urgent and important tasks that need done right now, remember to focus on your future priorities as well, and include tasks that contribute to their achievement and success. Break down complex tasks into smaller, manageable steps, and focus on completing one step at a time. Doing this will get you out of the reactive, last minute, urgent overwhelm cycle.

Step 2. Set Boundaries:

One common contributor to overwhelm is the inability to say no. Learning to set boundaries and assert your limits is essential for maintaining balance in both professional and personal life. You might feel uncomfortable as you practice and develop this new skill, but remember that research suggests establishing clear boundaries not only reduces stress but also enhances self-esteem and improves interpersonal relationships.

Start small – identify one thing that you can say no to. Don’t overexplain or apologise, simply communicate your boundaries politely but firmly, and without feeling guilty. If it is really challenging for you to do this (and for many people it is), then practice it with a friend or colleague beforehand.

Step 3. Delegate:

Delegate responsibilities whenever possible, trusting capable colleagues and team members to lighten your load. The temptation for many of us is often to think it is quicker if I do something myself, or perhaps I am the only person who can do this to the standard needed. Effective delegation does take a little time and effort, but the research shows that effective delegation not only reduces stress but also fosters teamwork and enhances overall productivity.

So, again, start small – look at your priorities and identify one task that would be fairly easy to delegate to a member of your team and would make a real difference to your workload. Then set up a meeting with the team member, talk through what is needed, with clear objectives and timelines, including what help or support they might need, and step back and let them get on with it. And remember, the same process works for family tasks and responsibilities as well!

Step 4: Challenge Limiting Self-Beliefs: 

Often, I find, overwhelm is accompanied by limiting and negative self-beliefs and self-criticism, which serve only to undermine our confidence and sense of competence, and exacerbate those feelings of pressure and overwhelm. We talk to ourselves in ways that we wouldn’t talk to other people. If a friend came to us and said they were feeling overwhelmed, we wouldn’t tell them to pull themselves together, or that they are stupid, shouldn’t be in that job, or that they just need to keep going until they get it all done, and done well, and then they can fall apart. All things I have heard clients say about themselves.

Pay attention to any negative self-talk that arises when you are facing challenging situations, or feeling overwhelmed and pressured, and then gently try to change it. Think about what you would say to a friend and how you would treat them and then try to do the same for yourself. Practice self-compassion and kindness and replace self-criticism with self-affirming thoughts to bolster your confidence and resilience. Make sure that each week, if not each day, you take time to look at what you have achieved, rather than just what is left to achieve on your to-do list.

Step 5. Prioritise Activities that support and energise you

When you are overwhelmed, it can be easy to fall into the trap of focusing on all the tasks that need completed and thinking that there aren’t enough hours in the day to get all the work done, let alone make time for a walk, a chat with friends, a trip to the gym, or even time for lunch or dinner. But taking time out, engaging in activities that energise and support you, making sure that you are eating, resting and sleeping well – all of this will make you more productive. You will be able to get more done, and it will be of better quality.

Easy for me to say, and even show you all the research evidence that supports it, but much harder to put into practice, particularly when you are feeling under pressure. Yet again, my advice is to start small - each day, build something into your day that will support and energise you, but remember it doesn’t have to be big, or take a lot of time out of your day. It could be a 10 minute walk at lunch time, a quick chat with a friend, family member or colleague, a mindfulness or relaxation exercise, you know what works for you best. But schedule it in, set a reminder on your phone if you need to, and make sure it happens.

Incorporating these evidence-based strategies into your daily routine and taking small daily actions can help you start to reclaim a sense of control and begin to manage the cycle of overwhelm.

Remember, though, that overcoming overwhelm takes time, so, focus on what you are achieving, even when faced with setbacks, and recognise and celebrate the impact of each of the steps that you are taking. And if you would like help along the way, get in touch to find out more about how coaching could help support you to break the cycle of overwhelm for good.